"boomchickawowow", really?

Last week, I watched ‘Special 26’ starring Akshay Kumar and Anupam Kher. There was this scene at the fag end of the movie in which Akshay Kumar recruits 26 job aspirants for his heist.

Out of the 26 recruits, only 4 are women for which he reason out this way -

"Don't feel bad that I have recruited only four women. I feel that you four are capable of doing what the other 22 men can do."

In the days of women being portrayed as someone who yells 'boomchickawowow and rips apart an old man's shirt' just because they are captivated by the smell of deodorant, fall for mango juices and what not; I was pleasantly surprised in the way in which they'd handled the scene.

Although, it's too early to declare that there is a paradigm shift in portraying women in ads; Akshay's dialogue was indeed a welcome change.

I just don't understand the rationale behind using skimpily clad women in ads. Yes. They do make others pause and take notice but will those moments of gawking at their cleavage or whatever part that is exposed, translate into a sale?

How do you measure the success of an ad campaign? Perhaps, digital marketers can pitch in and share their views. 

I wouldn't buy a bag of cement/iron rods for construction just because a leading actress endorses it. I would buy if it’s good and if it provides value for money.

I wouldn't buy a cool drink just because Asin endorses it. Miranda or Fanta what difference does it make? Both taste like aerated shit only.

I wouldn't buy a deodorant just because it can make the women around me go 'Awwwww'.  What nonsense boss?  I used Axe in college only because of their competitive pricing. 100 odd bucks for a month seemed to be a fair deal. Now that I am earning on my own, I do try out other Intl brands. I am not denying that but there is always a budget, a boundary. I would think twice to go beyond it.

I use jockey now not to entice women but it withstands heavy machine wash when compared to the local brands.

We are Indians boss. We are so obsessed with this whole 'paisa vasool' funda. As long as the product is worthy for the money that we pay, we would go ahead and buy it. Whether it's endorsed by a busty actress or a skinny modern chick – nobody gives a FUCK.

So stop portraying women as a sexpot. I am not a feminist or anything. It just doesn't make any business sense. That’s all.

I am no saint. I do stop and check out if someone beautiful passes by. Like I've said earlier, over the years, I have devised a technique that nobody will even know if I am actually looking at them. We are Pros boss. J 

Be creative boss. 

~ cheers.!

moving on...

This part of my life is called choosing between poo padhai and singa padhai. I have moved on from CSC and I will be joining a much smaller company (at least in numbers). I had put down my papers in my current company in February and today is my last day with the organization. Somehow, my gut tells me that if I miss this chance, I might never get one again. You got to listen to the inner beast right? 

I have wanted to do this for a long time. There is always more freedom in smaller companies than these biggies but with great freedom comes great responsibility. You’ll be held accountable for more things. You’ll have to be watchful. You’ll have to be on your toes always. However, after seeing people in eBay moving on to start their own ventures/smaller companies, it was only a question of time for me to follow their footsteps.  And I see this as a first step towards opening up my own venture. Pretty far fetched, right? :)

Will it happen? I am quite not sure at this moment. But one day, I wish to join hands with like minded people to build something cool.

Are you good enough? Again, I am quite not sure at this moment. But I am open to learn and adapt. Trust me; it is not an empty promise. Anyways, it’s not wise to think about something way ahead in the future now. 

On the professional front:

From the discussions I had with the would-be manager, the work sounded really interesting. Those guys are doing some kickass stuff to support a company which boasts itself for churning out super computers at will. Apart from the technology I would be working on and the promised remuneration; I really don’t have any other expectations from the company.

I have started writing a technical blog and I will publish the URL pretty soon. Need to get a few things right before I share it out.

On the personal front:

I am going to take a 10 day break. I will be joining them on the 15^th of this month. An extended pit stop to perform well in the race that is - LIFE.  The last few months had been nothing but hectic. I had to prepare & attend interviews amidst stringent deadlines, unrealistic client expectations, inadequate resources (environment and data) and crippling back pain.  But I learned a lot and I sincerely hope that the learning would help me move forward with confidence.

Battered, bruised but at the same time I’m feeling re-energized like never before.

Wish me luck! 

PS: Wondering about the image? I've added a Pillayar Suzhi to start the new life on an auspicious note

~ cheers.! 

evano oruvan

26/2/2013 03.15 a.m

Chennai Madras

It is that time of the day when the aisle bores a deserted and dim lit look. I turn around to see that there's not even a soul in the vicinity. The security guard keeps checking on me once in a while just to ensure that I don't indulge in any behaviour that might scar the decorum of the cubicle. The security turns the a/c off because it's just not worth it to waste electricity for a dumbfuck who stays late. There's always a trade-off - I tell myself. I stand no chance when pitted against saving precious electricity. The motherhood calls to check if I'll be back home for dinner. I reply her. 

I get back to doing whatever I was doing for the past 12+ hours. I get back to staring at the screen and keying in a bunch of well-thought-over-and-occasionally-bombing code.

I reply to mails. I deal with snobs. Snobs - who are so convinced that I am missing the obvious. "How could you not see this? Can't you see the giant green fucking switch in front of you? All you need to do is to turn it clockwise to make things work and you are trying to turn it anti-clockwise. Can’t you just do that? I mean, how hard it is to do that huh? ", they cringe.

I reply to superiors who talk to me while they are having a mouthful. (No dirty thoughts ra you rascals).

"Awhstb e jjsyyeawer jsjhrudreiuendfdnfjdhf, whatssskskd the statttsss?" they ask.

"Yes, sir. We’ll deliver the fixes today." I reply them after deciphering the text from the mouthful of homemade delicacy.

I deal with people who volunteer to assist me by sending (not to forget: by copying who's and who's of the company) first two search results from Google asking me to check if it helps. You see running a search on Google is considered to be a sin in my part of the world. So, they volunteer to bare the sins on my behalf. I deal with people who get offended if I don’t reply them back after trying out their 'alleged' solution.

"Man, I gave you the solution and explained you how things need to be done. What else do you expect huh?" they ask.

I struggle with IE which takes forever to load a web page with few images. I curse from the deepest corner of my heart. I long to have the system just the way I want it to be. Not to appear cool or anything. Just to feel "at home", to feel "comfortable". At times all it takes is the smell of your carpet, smell of your stinking socks, smell of your pet dog to make you feel home. Makes you feel that things are within your control. Gives you a false sense of hope that things could never go wrong. Placebo effect. Remember?

I stare at the emptiness. I gape at the ceiling thinking that how insignificant I am in this vast universe. I share sweet nothings with my over priced cappuccino. I imagine how things would have been if I had chosen the blue pill. (Had to bring in the matrix reference. Isn't it? ) I cringe at the very fact that how my life stinks just like my sock. I learn things. I learn them the hard way.

Every day I say this to myself, "From today, I am going to be assertive. I am gonna swear on top of my voice and give them the finger (wish I could do that). Or, at least reply them with a polite no. "

As I say this, I see God ROLFing by my bedside. "Man, you really think today is gonna be different? Ha ha ha ha…"

Ignoring his cynicism, I head to work with the hope that one day, I would simply sit and stare at the watch the world pass by. Simply sit and do nothing else. :)

After all, hope is the good thing. May be the best of the things and remember no good thing ever dies.

- yours truly,

evano oruvan

ahem ahem.. ecchuse me

Ohai! So, how have you been?

*Sends platonic handshakes to men and romantic lip pout to all the ladieez*

I have often been amazed just by looking at how life changes track so quickly. One moment you are on top and the next moment you embark on a downward spiral, nose diving thick and fast that it would take an eternity just to get back where you started.

Not so long ago, I was ODing on optimism. Things were going just great. In my pursuit to explore opportunities across the pacific, I left the place which had almost all the facilities that one would expect in a company to a mediocre one.  As fate would have it, my visa dint get through. See, this is what hope/chasing your dreams can do to you.  Remember this?

The work is not exciting. The facilities aren't that great and to top it all the grueling commute to office on a daily basis. My demands are pretty basic. 

To jot down a few

- Workstations with decent configuration.

- Chrome browser.

- Access to change wallpaper and the OS themes.  No, nothing fancy. I prefer good old windows classic theme and I have this as wallpaper wherever I go.

- Access to download and tryout anything that's open source.

I don't give a fuck about bad caterers, long work hours, stringent deadlines, fellow cubicle mates who laugh at the lamest of the jokes, bawling chicks etc.

I am all game for feeling contended with whatever you have. But my needs are simple no? What say?

Looks like I am stuck in a time warp boss.

Despite my hatred towards the place there are several things that caught my attention.

There is this flock of pigeons that sit on the awning and make moaning noises all day. They seem to be having a hell of a time. I wish even I could do that. Sit on a spot whole day and make passes on the folklore.

There is this guy who smokes like a shunt engine and talks to himself. By talking, not talking-to-self-with-violent-hand-movements-like-Sreesanth. This guy is mellow. From a distance, it looks as if he is chanting hymns to guard him from the evil.

Cribbing and protesting about something seems to be the fad now. I have done my part. So, what ya'll been up to? 

Sorry ba, will be back with something more meaningful. ;-) 

~ cheers.!

people you might know

Hello all and Ohai.! Ladies,

It’s been a while since I wrote something no? Well, here it is.

Today, I am going to describe to you a particular scenario. Nothing complex though. There is a certain chance that you might have faced this scenario a number of times in your career. If that is the case, it is an exercise for you – see if you are able to identify the characters involved. If you haven't faced this scenario, make a mental note of it and be prepared.

Scene 1:

C: I have a task that needs to be done ASAP. One of my team members will get in touch with you to explain the requirements. Let me know if you take this up?

Few minutes later.

M: Sir, it's already late. Do you want this right away? I don't think we have enough people now to take this up now.

C: Come on, Man! Don't tell me that you don't have even a single guy who is vulnerable, low on self esteem working for you.

M: Well! Now that you've put it that way, I guess I've found our man.

C: Sounds good.

Scene 2:

M: There is a concierge on its way. We have a requirement to dig a hole ASAP so that the party which is accompanying the concierge can get along with their activities.

D: But sir, I haven't done this earlier. Also, we don't have the tools in place for me to get started.

M: *looks visually upset * Look, we don't have time for this. Dude, anybody can deliver if they have the time and material.  Situations like reveal the true colour, pushes you out of your comfort zone. Now get on with the task already. I'll go see if I can get some help.

D: *Curses his fate and starts digging the hole with a ladle.*

M returns after a while.

M: Pchhhh.! *audible sounds of disgust and disapproval* At this rate, I don't think we will be able to finish it on time. You have been digging all day and I see only a handful of mud. And I don't find the hole "appealing". I will see if I can get an expert.

D tries hard to ignore the nitpicking, tries his self motivation technique and continues digging with the ladle.

Meanwhile, M goes back and returns with D1.

D1: Well, I have done this long back. I would need some time to brush up my skills.

M returns with U who has, in the past, dug up some aesthetically pleasing holes.

M: U, people say that you are good at this. What's your impression and what do you have to offer?

U: Well, before I get started I have a few questions. Have you thought through this entire thing? Have you done the story boarding? Do they have their own coffin? Or, should we do that also? If yes, what type of coffin would they prefer - Teak, oak, sandal wood? What about the leg room?

Haven't you heard about people turning in their graves?

*M and U laugh out loud for that lame joke*

Have you thought about the epitaph? Do you have its contents? Do you…. D interrupts and tells U that the procession might be here any moment.

U ignores and continues to add some nice to have feature and ends a long monologue with this.

U: D, the hole you have dug might be good enough to fit you but not C. *U and M laugh in unison*.  C deserves the best. Our reputation is at stake. By doing this, C would come to know that we have an eye for detail and we put C's comfort ahead of everything even in crisis times.

D: @#$%^&*^@ 

Identify C,M,D,D1 and U :)

~ cheers.!

Agam - November Fest

The Music Academy, located at the cross roads near Cathedral Road usually buzzes with activity during this time of the year. Over the years, the walls of the Music Academy would have got accustomed to the mellow, soft singing of the stalwarts of the Carnatic world. But they survived when they were exposed to some high voltage, thumping performance by "Agam – a progressive rock band based out of Bangalore".

Courtesy: Indianstage.in

Last evening was a fitting testament on what a group of like-minded professionals can achieve when they put their souls and minds together. There was some powerful singing, stunning guitar riffs, amazing use of percussions and to top it all, the audience who welcomed this new [by now, quite popular] genre of music with both hands.

Everything aroused my anxiety. Right from the title which yelled out "Rock the Raga" in bold letters to the mix of audience that filled the auditorium. The show started with a song called "Brahmma's Dance" which incidentally was the first song which the group performed as a band. That high voltage performance set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Brahmma's Dance was followed by "Swans of Saraswathi" which was an amalgamation of the famous Carnatic number Bantureethi kolu and progressive rock. I've heard several versions of this supposed-to-be timeless classic in YouTube. Of all, I love this - Cardia Life Ad. Yeah! Scoff it off. That's me. They'd announced their arrival with their style of rendition.

Swans of Saraswathi was followed by their version of Swathi Thirunal’s DhanshreeThillana in which the lead guitarist stole the show. It went right above my head. Too complex for me. So let's skip that.

More than the music, Harish [lead vocalist & host for the evening] knew what exactly it takes to keep the audience engaged. Initially, it appeared as if he was stealing the show, even though, the others were doing their bits with surgical precision. But he handled them really well. Each got their individual bits where they exhibited their class and the audience responded. His quirky one liners and his brief description about the song which preceded every song was a joy to hear.

To me, the best of the lot was "The Boat" song. Do listen to that song. He insisted that the audience sing along with him on his cue. Guess what, the knowledgeable Chennai crowd obliged gleefully and that to me was the best moment of the evening. 

Music wasn't the same centuries ago and it will never be the same in the coming years. Like all other things in this universe, it evolves with time. It's up to us to embrace and relish the change.

I shared my seat with an elderly couple. The "thatha," dressed in a white cotton veshti was carrying a thamboola pai and the "patti" looked bright in her starched cotton sari. They sat through the entire event observing intensely the way these people took up classics of the yesteryear's and added their own influence to it.

And that to me is a sign that even the most orthodox are ready to accept the change.

Progressive rock and fusion in general is here to stay.

Apart from the guy who kept poking my back and the couple [not the thatha patti] who wouldn't stop yapping I had a hell of a time. What energy levels man.! Tcha.!

Cheers.!

Disclaimer:

I am a self-proclaimed fusion music lover [Note: Read my bio :) ]. This has got very less to do with my knowledge in music and more to do with my interest in trying out different things. I'm someone who couldn't tell the difference between a "sruthi petti" and a sewing machine. That's how informed I am when it comes to Carnatic music. YouTube is all I know. I don't have a preference when it comes to music. I listen to them as long as 1) it plays to my senses 2) I can appreciate it 3) or at least, it should put me to sleep. 

happy deepavali, y'all...

One festival and it brings about joy and happiness in its own way to every other individual. Each, have their own reason to look forward to this festival. I mean never, ever in the history of the world that a festival has been eagerly awaited. Even after all these years, Deepavali hasn't lost its charm. 

No kidding. I'll throw in some scenarios to justify my stance. 

Kids [5-7] look forward to this festival hoping they could lay their hands on a new set of dress. Back in those days, a new dress was a rarity. It needed an occasion something as big as a Deepavali or a birthday to get a nod from the motherhood.

A little grown up Boys [7-12] get to brag about how they set the most latest/scariest of the cracker on fire and how that rendered the ground floor mama perennially deaf and scared the shit out of the stray dogs that wouldn't let them run up and down the street. Vendetta baby, Yeah! Revenge is always sweet  .

Girls [ Note: I'm just assuming here. I wholesomely agree that Girls are equally capable of setting things on fire and play pranks ] get to brag about how the light work that they lit went so high up in the sky that it almost hit an airplane. 

The ones in the mid-teens/early twenties are the ones who feel blessed. Refer Annexure 1 ;-)

Fans eagerly await movie releases. And the ones who are not the fans get to have fun bashing the Deepvali release.

Newly weds, especially the Pudhu Mappillai's eagerly await their "Thala Deepavali" hoping that their in laws would treat them real nice with rings and bracelets.

The elite-urban-middle class get to complain about the noise levels and polluted streets and how if it continues could spell doomsday to Mother Earth.

The animal activists get to preach the society about how cruel it is to burst crackers and scare the strays on road.

Hypocrites, in general remind you about how thousands of people suffered to make this small cracker you burst out of excitement. And that doesn't end there. The opinion, somehow seems to be divided. One half, argue that we shouldn't buy crackers as it is a product which claims hundreds of lives every year. The other half, argue that if we don’t buy crackers, it will be difficult for these industries to make money and in the long run they'll be forced to shut it down.

Die hard FB users get to post a random happy deepavali pic and tag their entire friends list.

The Desi's living across the Pacific and elsewhere in world get to spam your Twitter Timelines, FB feeds about how they miss being home. And of all the delicacies that Deepavali offers, they somehow seem to miss the legiyam that the motherhood prepares. ;-)

The elders in the family get to play the "I'm-not-sure-if-I-will-live-till-next-Deepavali-so-why-don't-you-get-married-soon" card.

And to top it all, us bloggers get to write a supposed-to-be funny blog post about Deepavali.

See. All are happy. It's a WIN-WIN. Don't you think?

Annexure 1:  

Festivals have never been easier on us - the ones hailing from the Brahmin households. There is always a routine to be followed. There are always protocols to stick to.

"Dei. Wake up early. Take oil bath. Drape the over-sized pattu veshti around your non-existent hip. Take that wooden plank and go get a clay Ganesha. Make sure you don't drop Ganesha's eyes on your way.” No! No! It's not as spooky as it sounds. By Ganesha's eyes, the motherhood meant the beads that comes with the idol.

"Dei. Wake up early. Take oil bath. Go get Sugar Cane… Dei recite Aadithya Hrudhayam which you learnt in school. Wait till the naivedhyam is offered to the Sun God." While you stand there in the Sun mustering half of the forgotter slokam wondering about the sudden interest in the forces of nature. 

"Dei. Wake up early. Take oil bath. Do 'achamaneeyam' properly. Your palm should face downwards. Take the water from the panchapathram. Slowly, let it slide down your palm. Make sure that just the tip of your fingers touch the floor".

"Dei. Recite Gayathri Jabam 1008 times. You'll get all Aishwaryam in your life". 

What? If I do Gayathri, I'll get Aishwarya'va? Silly guys will crack the same joke year after year. Aavani avittam is incomplete without people making "Sandhya" and "Aishwarya" jokes.  What? Back then, these jokes were a rage. Also, it made us look hip in front of the not-so-hip ambi-group. Adolescent stage no?

But Deepavali is different. No rigorous routines. No protocols to stick to. If you neglect the retired mama calling up every other number in his phone book asking "Enna ma, Ganga Snanam aacha?" ,you have the entire day to yourself.

Happy Deepavali, y'all :)

~ cheers.!

2 years. YaY.!

Come this 11^th I complete 2 years with this company. This definitely calls for a drum roll, right? *drum roll* *drum roll* *drum roll*

Of late, my life and everything that is happening around me has been the primary source for this blog. My sincere apologies. But just in case, if you want me to write about some earth shattering, path breaking news items like this and this, please do let me know. Will try my best.

This is not an attempt to blow my own trumpet. Rather, I see this as a chance to pause and reflect/observe on some of the things I did in the last 2 years. Imagine this to be just another causal analysis, if you will. :) I will try to keep it short and if possible sweet. 

And be warned. You might be thrown off guard with the overdose of optimism and happiness. Touchwood!

After all, how long can one crib about life? Huh? At some point, either one finds the going smooth or learns to live with it, right?

Then

So, there I was, not so long ago leading a happy life in Infosys – a job I reasonably loved, equally challenging, most happening blog networks, frequent long hours at work. It was a complete package. It had everything that an average Joe would ask for. Yet, I found I was missing out on something and I moved on from there.

Now

To begin with – I have never been happier in these 5.4 years like I am now. My social life has hit rock bottom. The number of persons with whom I interact on a daily basis has come down to single digits. I have made a very few friends after I left that company and to top it all I have not travelled onsite (YET!). In spite of all these, more often than not, I find myself in a reasonably better mood.

I want to do more and more stuff now. Now, it's one of the many perks that you get when you work for a public facing company. You could actually build a product that potentially could change the way people/you (in the long run) live. A real chance to influence 10s of millions of people. Sounds awesome right? Whether you successfully deliver it or not. That's irrelevant. Trust me – the journey to get there is thoroughly exciting.

Having uninterrupted access to the things that you need really makes the difference. Thanks again for hours and hours of YouTube videos and lectures. Just like Romance, the "moment"  here is really important. Once it is gone, it's really hard to pull yourself up to work on that idea of yours again.

Bigger is always better. When an idea starts ruminating in your brain, it’s always better to think through it upfront. The various aspects of it, the "N" number of use cases that the idea can cater to, the corner points/blind spots and the fallbacks. This kind of foreseeing helps.

Office environment matters. Especially, when they are the ones with whom you share 80% of your productive hours. Redefines your thought process. Heavily influential. Trust me.

Prying things up – always helps. Always. 

Coming up with fancy names and throwing a few jargons around is as important as your idea. At the end of the day, your idea will see the day light only when people buy your stories. So feel free to improvise.  ;-)

I never thought I would dream about starting a company. Take it from me. I am one of the most conservative, risk-aversive person you can meet. Yet, of late, I have started visualizing myself driving a startup with a group of like-minded people. My own venture. I know. It's a long and exhaustive process. At this point, I am not sure whether my idea (Do I have one to begin with?) would even materialize but I can warrant one thing for sure – I have slowly started to come out of the shell. J After all, what worse could happen, huh?

This doesn't mean that I've mastered the art of programming. I still check in a dirty version which just works fine. People do make a living out of finding bugs in my code. I mean, if everything works fine, won't they be out of their jobs? I still find it difficult to get some of the simplest of the logic.

All these flaws aside. I ENJOY WHAT I DO. I sucked, I still do, although hopefully less every year. 

Thanks heavens. 

~ cheers.!

work life balance ? poda dei

Dei Readers,

I've been in a spot of bother for a while now. No boss. I'm not bothered about the state of political/economical unrest in my country or the slurry of protest that's happening across the country. Call me hard-nosed or whatever. The way I see it, these things were happening even in yore. It's just that the people now are noticing things like never before. Thanks to relentless 'Liking', 'Sharing', 'Retweeting'.

Now, where was I? See, I often lose track when I start talking about my country and its issues. OK, anyways, I am writing this to you concerning a serious work-life balance relation question. My question, if it's answered properly will help a lot of young men. I have heard people rant at length how about how they just don't have the time even to rest for a while, how they were kept on their toes all day. Even I am going to put forth a similar situation to you. Now, you people being the wisest of the lot are gonna help me fix this. We are going to see through this storm. Yikes! My readers are too smart to go unnoticed.

Have you ever been amidst a group of people talking about a random topic and you just nod along even though you don't know shit about it? Have you? I find myself in such situations especially when people talk Football, Hard core Tennis, Romance and many other things to be honest. 

Well.! I, for one, hate to be in that spot. And who doesn't. 

The other day, I was having a discussion with my cousin. He was happily playing temple run in my mobile. Out of nowhere, he started talking about some game I have not even heard of. He went on and on enthusiastically assuming that I was following every other thing he said. After 20 minutes or so, I confessed to him saying that apart from the usual Mario and NFS types, I have never played any other game in my life. He threw an ugly stare for wasting his time, in which, he might have completed another level in the game. 

I cringed.

Similarly, a few months back one of my friends called me and asked me for a particular type of wine and where he could get that in Chennai. When I said, I had no idea about it he said, "I thought you'd know man. L "  Obviously, he came to me with a set expectation and I had failed to live up to it. I had let him down. I felt really bad.

Again, I cringed.

So, I started reading about these things. You know, skimming through loads and loads of wiki pages and bookmarked links. As my friends circle started expanding, the number of topics we discussed increased proportionally. Which means a lot of catch up to do.

Typically a day has 24 hrs. Unless, you are from another planet. You need 6 hours of sleep to stay healthy. So that brings us down to 18 hrs. Set aside 1 hour to do your daily business. Though, one might argue that those chores are really not necessary to sustain a living, let's take that into account for the benefit of others living around us. 8 hours at work. This leaves us with 9 hours. Commute – 2hrs. Considering that we [in general] spend one hour a piece to and fro. 

Although, I spend close to 4.5 [2+2.5] hours. So that leave us with 7 hours of total ME time. 

And in my case 4.5 hours of ME time. In that 4.5 hours, I have plans to [Rather, I am doing these things]

Read books. [Currently reading - 1. To read - 3]

Watch documentaries on holocaust, bridges, buildings, marine life. [close to 14gb of videos in list]. You see, I never had the services of satellite televisions in my school days. So, I got instantly hooked when I started watching them. :)

Take up new courses in coursera. [2 signed up so far]. They are giving home work and all. :(

Learn a new programming language. 

Watch sitcoms. [Currently watching – 1. To watch - 2]

Current affairs. [Random no. of events]

Run for 30 mins at least.

Learn mathematics. 

Read/update blogs. [you know it]

Improve grammar. [Yes boss. I'd a reasonably poor schooling. I'd to depend on Hindu and their editorials for my English. In spite of that my English is bad only. What to do? :( ]

Watch movies. [Again, you know it.]

Watch Gounder comedy. You know that I am a wannabe sly bot no? I need to stay abreast with Gounder's one liners. [Watch Aditya TV]

I do manage to squeeze in adhoc activities during my commute. I have been given the gift of time. If you think about it 4.5 hours is a lot of time. So I get some blog reading, reading tweets and other tasks done during commute.

THIS IS THE LIFE I LEAD. Sounds boring no?

NO. Prioritizing is not a solution. Unfortunately, I love doing all these things. I love these things so much that I push myself to the extremes. Everything to me is either a P0 or a P1. It's as if I'm working towards a non-existent but a very stringent deadline. Remember this? How I told you people about hiring a secretary? Now tell me how do I manage my time?

I do realize that it's absolutely not possible to know everything. If you think about it, it's not about knowing about everything that's under the sun. It's about feeling a part of the larger group or the fear of letting others down when they come to you for your opinion or fear of being left out of the conversation. Its the ability to engage in a healthy conversation about any topic for that matter. It's NOT TRIVIAL as it sounds. And so far I've been doing reasonably well. Touch wood.  :P

So much ordeal to feel a part of the group. So much for a crisp conversation.

Quite the conundrum eh? So, What do you think?

~ cheers.!

Steven Finn goes overboard.

Warning: Reasonably gross.
 

In a shocking incident, Steven Finn has been accused of inappropriate on-field behavior during the recently concluded match against SL. Now, everybody knows that Steven Finn has this ugly tendency to collide with the stumps in his delivery stride but on that day he just went overboard.

Rameez, one of the iconic commentators said, "It all happened in a jiffy. Steven ran in and bowled a cracker of a delivery which sped past the batsman like a tracer bullet. We saw As@d Rauf giggling when Finn approached the popping crease as if someone was tickling him. Very sheepish indeed. Then he declared the very next delivery as a no ball and started a heated argument with Finn and Board. We couldn't hear what exactly he spoke but from whatever noise the stump mic picked it looked like As@d Rauf said Hello to Finn's mom and sister."

After several reruns the special committee which was formed to investigate the issue found that Steven Finn had tried to access As@d Rauf's private areas when he was about to release the ball.

Our special correspondent spoke to Ravi Shastri while he was busy practicing his one liners standing in front of a mirror. He said, "Any self-respecting man would feel violated. As@d is a very reasonable man. He wouldn't want this to come in the way of his "new found" life. And I can totally understand his feelings."

"The first time he ran into bowl, his arm brushed through my privates. I had this weird tickling sensation and so I let out an innocent grin. During the next delivery, there was a definite cupping. This is utterly humiliating and I don't want to talk about it. You people don't realize what this kind of videos could do to my sEx life." said a seemingly miffed As@d Rauf.

Cricket experts feel that As@d Rauf could press charges against Finn on grounds of in appropriate on field behavior. And with solid evidence pitched against Finn, his cricketing career hangs [pun intended] in the balance. 

~ cheers.!

Timeless Steel - Review

Timeless Steel is an anthology, a collection of 30 essays written by stalwarts of cricket about Rahul Dravid. These essays are much more than a string of words with astute jargons and apt punctuations.

The book is structured in such a way that it starts with a rather modest introduction about Dravid's cricketing life, goes on to record what his peers have to say about him, relives some of his epic innings and ends on a fitting note with a detailed note on stats - his achievements over the years.  In that way, even someone who is reading about Dravid for the first time will get a measure of things, helps to learn Dravid's persona both on and off the field.

For someone like me, who grew up watching cricket in the late 90s and the 2000s the name Dravid represents sheer grit and perseverance beyond one's own imagination. No matter what role he played, he did things with such surgical precision. When he started out his career, Sachin had already stamped his authority in the international arena. No matter where the team played and no matter who their opponents were, people flocked in just to watch Sachin bat. People worshiped him. They still do. Dravid had to compete for his place with the likes of Sourav Ganguly.

From being dropped from the team to finish out with over 25k runs in all formats of the game speaks volumes for his courage and determination.

Of all the write ups, the ones which I love the most are the ones by Suresh Menon and Rohit Brijnath.

"Without too much effort Dravid could also keep his head when all about him were losing theirs and blaming it on him." ~ Suresh Menon.

I personally feel that it's one of the important traits when it comes to working in teams. Under his captaincy, the team had some historic overseas victories but the lasting memory is that of the teams’ early exit from the 2007 world cup. India’s hopes of making it to the next stage of the world cup ended with Dravid's dismissal. Call it irony?

"His batting is not, for some, immediately appealing; it is like some paintings, it requires a second look, a considered appreciation. Soon its beauty is revealed, it’s simple elegance, its clean, classical lines, its divorce from awkwardness, its stylish symmetry. He plays to his own wondrous music. " ~ Rohit Brijnath.

He seemed pretty content to play second fiddle to the 'Gods' and the 'Dadas' around him. Amidst all the adulation and fanfare, he was happy to work on his game and nothing else. You would often finding him gritting his teeth, sweating his way out as if he is going through a grueling routine. He never seemed embarrassed about fighting his way out when the others around him were scoring at brisk pace with consummate ease. That's Dravid for you. Waging a silent war. More often with himself than with his opponents.

Cricket is a spectacular sport in its own right. Teams battled out in the middle with extreme intensity and sportsmanship. But it's not the same anymore. Now, it's a duck which lays golden eggs. Everybody gets their say in the way in which the sport is played. The players, the administrators, the media and the fans. 

Dravid maintained his composure and a steady head throughout his career, in spite of being in the limelight, being constantly scrutinized and ridiculed for every little failure. It's one the many reasons why people hold Dravid so high in their ranks. 

I would consider myself the luckiest person in the world if I could accomplish at least half of the things that Dravid accomplished in his career which spanned well over a decade.

Note: I wrote this for a book review event in my office. We were asked to review a book which inspired us and I couldn't think about any other book than this. 

~ cheers.!

mostly blah

My regular readers [yeah you two only] by now would have made peace with the fact that I give some stunning, timely and kick ass advice to people and go out of my way save people from abyss. Be it professional or personal - I am a PRO. Now, with this let me get down to the details.

It was half past 7 in the evening and there were hardly a handful of people in the bay. Even the ones who stayed late were cozily skimming through their Facebook pages. I, on the other hand, was busy rolling out some top notch code to the production environment. For the record, I never log into Facebook during office hours because even a small amount of distraction can disrupt the synergy between mind, body and soul there by creating room for error.  ;-)

Moving on.

Now, anyways, I was staring at the screen with full concentration when the communicator popped up with a message which read

"Hi……………….. Is it the right time to talk?"

Well, I am not the kind of person who indulges in strange conversations. But I could sense a tone of desperation in the series of dots.  

So, I replied

"Sure. Why not? Go ahead. I am all ears."

"I hear that you are an expert in giving pro/personal advice and go out of your way to help your peers. Is it true?"

"Well! Ye.a….h.. some would say so but you know I am just a normal guy….."

"Whatever! You need to fix this for me."

"Fix what?"

"I am worried. And I need your help."

I quickly checked the company's intranet and going by the looks found him to be pretty young. I started doing the math.

Young guy probably in his mid-twenties, knows my reputation to solve complex issues and my benevolent nature, starts a random conversation.

I mean, I could only imagine his crisis which forced him to start a random conversation with a GUY. I know I am an expert of sorts in helping out people but still.

Relationship crisis. VOILA ..! It gotto be it. What else could it be? People of his age must be marrying of and having babies.

Self-esteem issues? Naah! This fellow looks pretty good. Why will he think low of himself?

Aah! I get it. I get it. He must be suffering from I'm-in-my-mid-twenties-but-I'm-yet-to-travel-onsite syndrome.

"Are you there? Are you there?"

"Yes. I am here. Please go ahead. I was assisting my friend with complex business logic. We managed to figure out the optimal solution. You were saying…"

He paused for a while and I imagined him to be swearing under his breath.

He started. 

"I was on leave for the past few weeks. I feigned a family crisis and managed to go on an extended vacation with my buddies."

"It's a good thing right."

No. That's not my point.

"Then, what is your point?"

All those weeks when I was on my vacation, I dint get even a single call from my team. I felt bad for lying on their face and left my phone on for most of the times. Even when it ran out of power, I used my sim in my friend's phone.  But nobody called.

Somehow, I am unable to digest the fact that they did just fine in my absence. No phone calls seeking my help in fixing issues. No phone calls asking me for the ppt which I prepared.

Of course, my mail box was flooded with mails from the HR reminding me to fill my timesheets on time and today's special mails from the caterers. But other than that nothing.

Only then it stuck me. An epiphany of sorts.
It's not the jazzy cubicles. It's not the money. It's not the chicks. It's the sense of feeling important. It's the sense of feeling a part of the ecosystem which motivates people to wake up daily, travel a light year battling traffic to reach the office.

It only reminds of me of this scene in F.R.I.E.N.D.S [link]

~ cheers..! 

Mugamoodi

Disclaimer:

- I don't know squat about film making and amount of effort that goes into making a film. 

- If your penchant for Indian super heros/anything that's Desi is between 0-100, please stay away.

- I have paid 100 for the ticket and 200 for the bucket from my pocket. So, I've the right to express my opinion.

Moving on. 

I planned to write movie reviews only when a movie makes me extremely elated or extremely upset. Unfortunately, Mugamoodi falls in the second category.

Truth be told, I enjoyed Mysskin's last movie – Yudham Sei, which, I thought was a decent thriller. But by trying out his hand on the 'Superhero' genre, I guess the director just went overboard.

First of all, the movie bears heavy resemblance to Nolan's Batman [without proper credits] series but comes nowhere near it, in terms of screenplay and logic. There are Kollywood equivalents of Lucius Fox - Girish Karnad, Alfred – the other French beard thatha, Gordon - Nasser and Joker – Naren.

Jeeva, is just another guy, gets rebuked by his father for being a lazy/irresponsible brat. Just like any other movie, he finds solace in his grandfather and one more thatha [who stays at his home but the director doesn't bother to reason it out] All of a sudden, he falls for Pooja Hegde. Love at second sight. No! No! There is logic. He falls for her because she is bold, doesn't bother about beating thugs to pulp and uses the pepper  spray efficiently. And Jeeva, just like any other guy seeks advice from his grandfather. When things like these happen in movies, I see them as a cue from the director to the public that no one and nothing is meant to be taken seriously.

Jeeva and his friends have a tremendous respect for their Kung-Fu master. I mean, it goes beyond the usual student-teacher relationship. For some strange reason, they worship him. As per the story, Naren and Selva belong to the same age group and they both are raised by the same foster father. But Naren looks more strong and young whereas, Selva looks torn and weak. Literally! But he calls himself a Kung-Fu master. So he's one.

Meanwhile lot of things happen. Jeeva falls for the girl, tries to impress her, wears a red undy, wears and mask and calls himself - ''Mugamoodi'', gets framed for an attempt murder in the process. Loses his friend. Phew.! Too long, right? Yeah, even I lost patience.

The problem isn't the series of silly scenes. The real problem is the lack of purpose. After all, he wore a mask to woo his girl friend in the first place. 

If Jeeva wore a mask for no solid reason, Naren removes the mask for no reason. If you are gonna remove it, why bother about wearing one? Makes sense?

The highlight of the day was when one guy in the audience called Naren as the “Suthi samiyar” when he walked on screen carrying a hammer. It was a ROLFMAX moment. Naren, the alleged 'ruthless maniac' becomes a siripu police at the end with his swaying and his mannerisms. Funny fellow. :)

The sole purpose of a Superhero is to instil belief. More than the hero, people just love the victory. People love the way he fights his way to success crossing all the hurdles that come his way. I don't have a problem having another Superhero but the narration is a big letdown and not convincing at all.

Whether the director likes it or not, this will go down as an attempt by him to mimic Nolan and create a Kollywood's first ever Superhero.  Agreed that most of the Superhero movies are flawed and have their own share of loop holes but what separates the best from the rest is the ability of the director to reason out things. 

You might argue that even Batman defied logic in certain places. But at least, he dint pee in public.

Verdict: Batman/Nolan Devouts - STAY AWAY.

And boss, take a look at this no - Guest Post Invite [Link]

~ cheers.! 

down the memory lane

A long weekend with a lot of time to kill - what would you do?

Any sane mind would kill for a comfy couch, some chips to crunch and an action packed movie in Star Movies. But given my obsession to keep things organized, I set out on a mission to categorize receipts, useless paper work, warranty cards and other finance related samacharams*. Such missions, in the past, have always ended on a happy note. But it wasn't the case this time.

I found a solo photograph of my ex slyly hidden between bills and bank passbooks. My friends have always warned me about the trail. Somehow, throwing away the picture dint make sense to me. No, I am not one of the filmy types to shed a tear looking at the photo. Anyways, I found the photo which wasn't meant to be found.  Big deal.

Macha, I know why you are feeling this way. You guys never had the ideal break up. There was no closure. You both left things hanging in the air and all of a sudden came the dreaded invitation in the mail. Things would have been different, if you'd closure.

Closure works only in movies. But that's not the point. Whether by choice or circumstances-which-don't-even-make-sense-now, things happened. For better or worse, it was an integral part of my life for years. All I want is the healing process to be natural. I don't want to force fit things. Things are getting better. I don't peek into her profile as often as I used to a few months ago. And I am making a conscious and a meticulous effort to move on. Eventually, I WILL.

I know this girl who used to turn into a monster when someone talked about her ex. She is happily married now. That's a different story. My friend used to tell me about his classmate who keeps posting double entendres in his FB wall targeting his ex. Petty, isn't it? Not really. It's only natural to derive a sadistic pleasure knowing that their life is a mess without you and at the same time proving a point that you are better off without them.  After all, it's all about who got the better deal. Isn't it?

There is no hard and fast rule that people should mourn over their past.  All of us, some earlier than others, wake up to reality. And as a matter of fact, she is having a hell of a time elsewhere in the world while I'm still struggling in this dump trying to get on my feet. I have no issues with that. 

All I want is, to remain normal when someone talks about her/anything even remotely related to her without getting a panic attack, to get over the guilt and smile gently reminiscing the past. It's a great feeling.

I wish I had bottled up those moments. I could use a spoonful when the chips are down. :)

* samacharams - Tamil word for trivial things

P.S: Watched another play "The Green Room" [link] at HMTF and I got to tell you that it sucked for most of the parts. I guess, I am becoming good at choosing worst plays. Hmm. Not sure whether the organizers read my last post or not. This time I got good seats. So, cribbing works. :)

~ Cheers..!

So what? I got a seat at the vantage point, right in front of the screen

I've said it before and I will say it again. Unlike the other metros, Chennai sucks when it comes to variety in theater. So, when there is a play happening on a weekend, I make it a point to watch it. I've burnt my pocket on more than occasion when I bought tickets to plays which were not even close to bearable. Brilliant, Average, Sort-of-ok and Worse. I’ve seen them all.

The Hindu Metro Plus Theater Festival [link] is one such event. Last year, I managed to catch a few plays and even this year I have plans to watch two/three plays.

Yesterday, it was Chennai's local talent who exhibited their theatrical skills. Four plays by four different theater groups with an approximate run time of 25 minutes(each).

A Temporary Matter by Madras Players

The Purification Hunt by Theater Nisha

The Flatulist by Broadwalkers

Ganga at Rishikesh by Stray Factory

Now, I am not going to review the plays, nitpick performances and give out a score card at the end of this post. So you are spared of that bull shit. But as an atonement, I am going to go on a rant spree about how hard it is to get a good seat when you are alone.

- The mosquitos relished a gourmet meal at my expense. After all, even they are a part of our ecosystem. Right? And, I get to say, even I'd shed my blood for the society. Mosquitoes feasting-food chain-balance in eco system. You get the drift right? Where will they go if every other household is hell bent in shooing them away. So what? I got a seat at the vantage point, right in front of the screen – only 15 rows behind.

- The girl who sat to my left smelled like onions. And I squirmed like a worm within the confines of my chair when the on screen couple smooched and ripped off their robes in a steamy scene. May be, I am yet to grow up to watch such a thing with company. To my right, sat an elderly couple but they seemed to be ok with that. So what? I got a seat at the vantage point, right in front of the screen - only 15 rows behind.

People who sat three/four rows in front of me wouldn't stop giggling. Of course, they must have had something really amusing for them to indulge in chatter all along. So what? I got a seat at the vantage point, right in front of the screen – only 15 rows behind.

All this for what? To get a good seat so that I can enjoy/learn the nuances of theater. These things wouldn't have happened 

- If the chick who blocked an entire row, just by standing and waving from the far end had let me take one seat. 

- And the other two colleagues of mine who lied about an alleged "third" person who was going to join them in the due course, which never happened.

Now, for the record

- I don't pick/hit on women who come watch plays. 

- I don't devise strategies to get into their pants just because they sat next to me. Be assured. I'll not even care to indulge in small talks. I am a paisa-vasool kind of guy. When I pay money from my pocket, I expect returns.

I am no saint. I do look around, ogle and at times ogle for longer durations. Over these years, I have developed a technique and I am quite an expert in that.  You'll not even realize that I was looking at you.  

In spite of reaching the auditorium well ahead of time, I went through this ordeal. So much for the love of theater. Sigh.!

PS: And, on a totally unrelated note, Amma tells me that I should find a girl who has similar interests. ;-) Anyways, thats her opinion and I'm not gonna act on it.

~ cheers.!